Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dear Demi Lovato: you wear too much god damn makeup

(Apologies for my absence.)



Seriously, she looks like a zombie queen here. I know she's a teenager and some teenagers are insecure creatures but she'd look perfectly fine without a vat of makeup smeared all over her face.

There really aren't many good comments. At all. Most of them are 'I LOVE U DEMI, COME 2 MY CITYYYYY!!! <3<3' and 'SHE IS SO PRETTY I WANT TO LOOK LIKE HER THE HATERS CAN SUCK IT.' But anyway, as always, click to enlarge:


'They all kick puppies and mug old ladies too, those judgmental metalheads!'

And here:



'Is so me and my bf'... for the record, here are a snippet of the lyrics to 'Here We Go Again':


Interesting relationship.

And I saved the best for last:



SHE SMELLED. LIKE. MAKEUP. I'm speechless. If you smell like makeup enough for people to likely think 'what an interesting body spray!', you should probably scrape some of it off, yeah?

...And that's all. Sorry. There really weren't any good comments. And I promise I'll post again soon, really. Until next time...!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dear Angie: a few forehead wrinkles never killed anyone

Now Botox, on the other hand...

'K. This is an entry not about Youtube comments or any other comments made on any other video site, but of one of my personal favorite sites, Awful Plastic Surgery. Awful Plastic Surgery is a site that is pretty much exactly what it sounds like it is: a site taking note of some particularly bad plastic surgery choices made by celebrities. The entry I had in mind was this one made about a certain Mrs. Jolie.


(cue Psycho shower-scene music)

All four of the comments on this entry are funny, but this one made me laugh out loud:



Why, Angie? Why? You are regarded as one of the most beautiful celebrities (if not the most beautiful). There's absolutely no reason for you to do something like this. Rrgh.

Be right back. Punchin' something.

Why was this in my recommended videos?

Seriously?



I never do have much to comment on about Carrot Top, except for:

a) in my opinion, he is extraordinarily unfunny, and
b) he reminds me of a younger version of Tiny Tim. On steroids.


This is not a compliment, I repeat, not a compliment...

But I must refrain from slanderizing the good name of Tiny Tim too badly. Carrot Top,
however? I don't really care for, so... get 'em! (as per usual, click to enlarge.)













Three accurate comparisons in only a small pool of comments? Bravo, guys. Just... bravo.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Take it away, Kate!

(Embedding on the video was disabled. Click here to view it.)

Now, I love Jon & Kate Plus 8 as much as the next person. I honestly hope that they make it through these hard times they're experiencing and that things will fall back into place. And maybe for Jon and Kate to sit closer together on that little loveseat like they used to in the earlier seasons, instead of scootched as far as they can over to the side like one of them just farted or something.



But some people don't share my sentiments, and frankly, both sides are justified. There are some amusing comments on that video once you weave through the majority saying 'she deserved to get cheated on lolol', et cetera. Here are some comments from the above video. As said before, click to enlarge.





Sunday, May 24, 2009

Captain's Log, Stardate: May 24th, 2009

Meet Chris.



He's a 27-year-old (as I write this) high-functioning autistic man (some debate this fact, actually, and say he's just plain psycho, but anyway) who is desperately trying to find a sweetheart/lose his virginity/etc. You might think, 'but Marcella! He's autistic! You shouldn't make fun of him!'. Now, normally, I'd agree, honestly. I'm not that mean. But Chrissy here has an ugly background that I'd rather not go too deeply into. Let's just say that it involves pinning women against walls against their will, stalking girls at malls (and eventually getting banned from said malls), and worst of all, taking nude pictures.

Now, if you will, picture this man naked.

When you stop crying, clawing at your eyeballs and reaching for the brain-bleach, I'm sure you will agree when I say that he has it coming. Anyway, onto the comments now.

Chris's videos are practically a gold mine with the fact that about three quarters of the comments are made by people with at least half a brain who can crack a decent joke (with the exception of the other quarter, who typically make comments like 'ur a gey fagget'). Here are some from the video above. (Usernames are not blurred, unless I find reason for them to be or if said user asks me to.) Click 'em to enlarge.






And there you have it.